I'm angry at you, you betrayed me

While I sit here and wonder if I am valid in my anger, I know I am completely justified and I have every reason to sit in my living room without saying a word while you converse with my family as if I am nothing more than a topiary in the shape of a person. But I am a person with a beating heart, a heart you gouged out. Yes, you. And yes, you can call me any name under the sun but you know what? I have news for you, I am exactly what you think I am. A BITCH. Because I am being in control of herself.

You betrayed me. Everyone led me to believe that it wouldn't be a best friend, it would be a guy, it would be DB. But no. It was you. It was you the person who I was supposed to be friends with forever. But no, you think it is more important to snog your boyfriend in my presence, sneak out with him in the middle of the night and fucking ignore me. You made me think you were mad at me but you know what you accomplished? Do you even know?

Yeah I totally believe you don't care about me. You care more about anyone but me. You made that perfectly clear after I spent money out of pocket to visit you at YOUR request. You built up my dreams and my hopes and my aspirations that the trip I was taking was going to be fun, relaxing and time to bond. No. I got flea bites. I got ignored and passed over for a "fun" spring break trip that you PLANNED in front of me. You paid more attention to your fuck buddy and your friends than me.

Yeah I said. FUCK BUDDY. I don't give a rat's ass about you anymore. WHY should I?

You don't. You sat there. Ignoring me like a piece of dog shit that you so desperately are avoiding.

Congratulations. Wish granted. I'm out of your life.

Don't let my goddamn door hit you on the way out.

I don't hate you. I hate what you have done to me. I resent you. You betrayed me.

I am not going to let you hurt me anymore. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to be treated the way you envision our friendship. You don't even know what friendship is anymore. Friendship to you is people always agreeing with you and having fun. No questions asked. Nobody really genuinely caring and loving you the way I do. I disagree with you because I care. Not because I am fucking judging you, but you know what. Now I do. I openly judge you because you make bad decisions. You are making a bad decision in making me feel this way and not even caring to ask what is wrong with me.

And may I say that your perceptive skills and ability to recognize that I am unhappy...WELL DUH. Of course anybody would be unhappy with you. How can you fling yourself down on a bed wearing new clothes head to toe, with a whole house of people who love you and you're bawling your eyes out like a disturbed child because somebody doesn't like you? You know what? I cried over you and I got tired of it because I know you won't cry over me. You won't bat a fucking eyelash or lift a finger if something happened to me. You made a situation worse over and over again. I will never tell you anymore what is going on in my head, in my heart or in my life. Because you make everything worse.

You value dating a dead end more than someone who was going to be there for you, tolerant and unconditionally but you made me intolerant, you made me see why people hate you. Why people want to see you cry and find joy in making you cry. Why? Because you showed me how little you care. Mission accomplished.

I'm not going to let you hurt me anymore.