It's Too Late to Apologize

We succeeded in having the most unsuccessful family talk in history.

There was no yelling, no altercations, no threat making. Nothing. My dad talked for about 20 to 25 minutes straight about who knows what. It all involved being unhappy, being wrong, how much he and my mom care about me, love me and how they will support me. It all involved college and classes, getting through the grit.

I listened. I didn't say much. My mom finally got him to be quiet and they both asked me for my thoughts. I could barely formulate thoughts. I'm so tired.

That is really all I am. I am so tired. I am tired of high school. Who gives a shit if there are only six weeks left? I never once day dreamed or envisioned myself in a cap and gown, marching two by two with the rest of my classmates to Pomp and Circumstance in front of a raving crowd of relations. Never once. I never ever dreamed of graduation. Either I am in complete denial, but I don't think I can do it. I don't think I'll graduate. Everyone, my parents and my friends say I'm being ridiculous and say, "Of course you'll graduate." I don't think I will.

I don't have confidence and I certainly don't believe in myself.

But now my mom is asleep and we're back at square one. She asked me to let her help me. Help me with what?