P-I-S-S-E-D

Mika is in the next room. I can hear her screaming, some slamming and her mom yelling. She's trapped. I complain about my problems, but she is willing to do things that I would never dare to or maybe I would, if I were her. She's at the brink of desperation. We're both there. I can see us standing on some ledge, but we'll plummet in different directions.

I really hate school.
And so many people in it.

I can't stand my classes. I would drop every single one of them. Every one. I hate them all. I could gnaw my limbs off. I could rip my heart out and my hair. I hate them. GOV is the biggest joke in the world. I haven't learned a thing in Japanese, except that I am terrible at it and curse myself for being bullied into taking the class. I must be a huge pushover.

And Brit Lit. Oh my gosh. Brit Lit is not fun. It must have been loads of fun last year, but this year...It's awful. God awful boring.

And I say boring, but I am trying. I really am trying to be optimistic like I'm always told I'm not, but it's BORING. It's frustratingly, beating your brains out boring.

I can't believe how monstrous I've become. I'm so hateful. So dark and depressing. It's pathetic.

Things plague me that I should be able to let go of, but I don't let go. I wonder why. There's no one to point a figure at, no source other than myself. Just me. Only me. I am the one to point at. I am the one to blame. I need to learn to let go.

I can't wait for graduation, if I make it there. I don't give a damn about what I look like or if anything is perfect. I don't give a damn about my class. I don't care where they go. I don't care what they do.

The only people I care about are the ones I've shared a corner with for four years.

The only people who made me a video for my birthday. Just to make me laugh, even as embarrassing as it was.

The only people who invited me to their birthdays and loaned me money and entered a contest with me.

The only people who cried with me and called me when I was sick.

The only people who rode on a bus with me for the first time and hunted my enemies, belittled them when they were bothering me.

The only people who were there for me in the hell hole of high school. Who were there every single day. Every single day. Who went to every single party. Who went to dances. Who went shopping. Who watched silly, stupid movies. Who got our jokes and made us laugh.

So stayed, others didn't, some tagged along. But the ones who know themselves, know this:

You're the ones I care about. That I will continue to care about. During graduation and after. I expect to hear from you sometimes. I expect to see you sometimes.

We should keep our traditions going. We should stay in touch. Because I won't forget you guys!