Excerpt from Email

I noticed I have this unhealthy trend of being really happy when I see him and then becoming bummed afterwards. That's when the paranoia/fear strikes. I don't really know why, because everything is fine. My mom pointed out we're in a short-long distance relationship again. I figured out we need to strengthen our clear communication.

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It's...STORY TIME WITH LAURA.

I very nervously at the prodding of both my parents to send a message (via text) to Dhruv. My parents were very sad to see me so distraught and offered their advice. My dad said I should send a message to him since it had been 3 days. So nervously I sent a text to him and he replied that he would get back to me, let me know a good day. I had initially suggested either Saturday or Sunday.

I made plans that night with my friend Da Seul because she is going through a real, real hard time. So I took her to dinner and we talked and talked that night over food and coffee and then we went over to my house. We were just going to talk a little longer in my room because it was 10 pm when I get a call from Dhruv. I was really shocked and very nervous. He asked if I wanted to do something tonight, "Like go to bar or something." Da Seul heard about the story and urged me to meet with him. I told him to give me half an hour and hastily threw on better clothes and make up and heels to try to look more sophisticated since he said "bar" which I am allowed to be in as long as they serve food and I do not sit at the actual bar.

I went outside to get Dhruv when he showed up and walk Da Seul out, he showed as Da Seul left. My mom made sure to let me know she wanted him to come in so she could speak to him Well it was sort of tense for me at least. He and my mom spoke for a while about how he was doing. He revealed he had been very sick during the week which later on he told me that our fight had aggravated him, and during the week he had been annoyed with him, he admitted quietly Saturday morning.

But I couldn't have been more wrong about his feelings changing or him hating me or moving on or anything I blubbered to you.

The minute we were alone in the car and I shut the door and asked him what we should do, he embraced me and kissed me. I told him I missed him and he said he did too.

As suggested, I very gently spoke to him about what happened. I told him that I loved him (we were both really tired because I hadn't gotten much sleep or anything to eat the last few days AND he had been sick with flu for the last few days) so I said maybe it a few more times than I would have. But he responded every time and he prodded me gently and kept saying, "It's OK. Relax." I told him it's so hard for me to be mad at him ("Now don't take advantage of this!") because I just love him so much and I could fixate on all the things that annoy me, but I don't because it's just not worth it because I just care about him so much. I told him, "I know you were annoyed with me. Please don't be. I haven't been myself." He understood and well, my paranoid brain is still going, but we are OK.

He woke up the next morning and had rolled over towards me and opened his eyes just as I did mine. And then he cuddled me and kissed my cheeks and I just held him back. I don't think he would have done that if any of my fears were real. There's no way any of my fears could possibly be true, because he wouldn't have done that otherwise, he didn't have to, he had to have wanted to. And that made me so happy.

He doesn't have to buy me flowers or chocolates and thank god, no stupid teddy bear. I'm just so happy we okay and I would only wish he would say "Happy Valentine's Day" but I don't expect anything major. It's fine. Love don't cost a thing.