Wisdom from Cinematic Words (but make sense)

"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!"
from "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" 

I was not in love when I saw this movie. I did not fall in love with the movie either. Or the book. I tried reading the book, but it was too hard. Far too dense and not captivating enough to continue reading. Even my parents who are readers, gave up. The movie...Nicolas Cage has a horrendous Italian accent. Just because he has Italian ancestry does not mean he can fake a authentic Italian accent. Not that Spanish actress Penelope Cruz has anymore of a authentic Greek accent or Christian Bale for that matter. Anyway that is not the important part or relevant to the quote.

What is important is the quote. It is true. Love makes everybody genuinely a little crazy. A person will consume your thoughts, your body and your language. You will feel such joy and such elation and incredible longing. But when that is over, will you still desire that person?

My situation is not so different as others. The ones who had to part and say goodbye. I still want him. I miss him something awful. But it does make me wonder if I just want him because I had him. Because he wants me. Is it a mere imagining that we are in love? Or believe ourselves to be?

I don't think it was a mistake that we feel the way we feel and told one another. I do not think that was a mistake.

But I do wonder, believing what I believe and if the quote is right...If we are love. Or more importantly, will we survive?

No, the quote is not completely correct. Being entwined and wanting never to part, that is inevitable when you fall for someone. However, you lived without them. You can live without them, that is not impossible. You can live without them, but not happily. That implies need. You need them. You cannot commodity love, but some people that is what it is. For me, I need to want them. I want them to stay entwined with me. I want him to stay a part of my life, but I do not need him to.

Does that make sense?

It may not and you might object. You might think that it sounds cruel or twisted or just doesn't make any sense at all. But maybe what the quote was trying to say is that there needs to be a mutual desire to remain partners and that you should still be interested and curious about each person despite the fire being gone. Will you still be excited to see this person every morning when you wake or be disturbed to find that they haven't left yet? Can you live life happily without this person? Or will you go on feeling like something is missing?

Wanting someone after love and longing is over.

I don't know what to say about that though. We had to part. We have to live away from one another. It has been months. It was August when I saw him last and now it is nearly November. This is the last week of October. Halloween is next Monday. I shall see him next weekend for the first time in these months. I am very happy. Excited. Only for part of a day. Not even a whole day.

I do think about him quite a bit and I know he thinks of me. We imagine we are together, in each other's physical presence. But I miss talking with him. Learning about him. Discussing Ethnic Studies and things that are important to us. I could babble on about anything and he would listen to me. He talks and I listen. I miss his laugh and his smile. He would ask for stories and I would tell him. He'd laugh and kiss my shoulder. I miss him around me. Of course, I miss being with him in all ways. The passion I think is prolonged because of our distance.

But if we were to be together...No doubt we would be exhausted of one another. Perhaps that is when the friction happens. It is natural for any people even my parents who have been married almost 20 years to have fights. My grandparents were married over 60 years and most likely had fights. It is something I longed to ask Nana was how she and Granpa stayed together for so long without exhaustion. That is what I would like myself. A mate for life. I do not want to be alone. I also want to be a grandparent. A mother.

I don't have to be a wife. I want to be somebody's partner. Lawfully wedded? Doesn't have to be. But life partner. I like that.

Naturally there are disagreements and fights. But I guess when you're done fuming and ranting and raving, and you find you're alone. And have time to think.  You begin to miss them. And then the longing sets in. Then pride is swallowed. And you return humbly and forgive. Then hopefully forget and life goes on.

At least in an ideal world. My ideal world.