Guilt

I still feel guilt about Jennifer, like I didn't do enough and I can hardly go to sleep once I think of her, which I usually do right before I go to sleep. It makes me worry about Buddy and fear every moment I don't spend with him is wasted. I don't want to think that he's turning 6 this month and though he's still in his prime, one day he'll disappear like she did. And then I regret.

Because I feel like I wasted so much time with Jennifer thinking and believing she would live forever.

And a bunch of dogs at the shelter are high risk for euthanasia and it makes me so sad, because none of them will have what either Jennifer or Buddy have. It's not really their fault and they are dying for the sins of human beings. And human beings die for the sins of other human beings.

Like Vincent Chin said before he slipped into a coma, "It's not fair."