My Life...Right Now

"Got my hopes up for like two seconds, but Hope really bails out on me."

"I'm waiting to hear from the rest. But Hope really hangs in the balance."

"I'm Benjamin Button inside out."

"I miss the dreamer-*Chinny. My goals and aspirations died with her."

"It's funny
At times I wanted to
At others I knew I wanted to get better
Most of the time, more recently, I just don't care
I have literally like no opinion
I just go through the motions
Day to day."

I cry randomly, the very second I feel miserably and completely upset.

I set out to do homework and chores. But I don't do them. I wait. I procrastinate.

I get joy out of drawing people, then depressed, because they are beautiful people I could never look like. Who can fit into clothes I dare to dream of wearing.

I eat more than I should. Happy, sad or without opinion.

I am plagued by bacterial and viral infections due to stress weighing down my immune system.

I'm gaining weight, because I have not been to the YMCA all Senior year.

I compare my feelings to the songs of "RENT", which is basically the musical of my life. Freshmen and Sophomore year it was "The Producers" and "All Shook Up", Junior year it was "Mamma Mia!" and "Phantom of the Opera", but Senior year it is "RENT" and only "RENT." With Depression instead of AIDS.

I am Mark, by the way. I have nothing in common with the rest of the cast. Mark and I will are alone. We watch others suffer, die, love and go by. We record everything. Everything and anything. He on film and I in writing.