Worst Day # PIE (3.14...)

In class it was asked for the girls to make a list of things that girls believed guys wanted in a woman. This is what the girls in the class came up with:

The Recipe for the Perfect Woman As We See It

C cup
Long hair
White straight teeth
Good smile
Thin-120 lbs
Curvaceous
Defined hips
Long eyelashes
Good eyes
Shapely brows
Well-proportioned
Long legs
Tall
Full lips
Clean complexion
Tan
Toned, lean

Uh huh. Except for long hair and clean complexion (no zits, black/white whatever colored heads, pimples), I do not fit anything on the list. I felt like crap in class today and so did the other girls as we continued the list. We didn't fit anything. Except for Squeaker who is perfect in every way. The sound of her voice sounds like long nails scratching with piercing, accuracy down the length of a old school chalk board. Down, down, down they go. Wailing and shrieking as they go. Scratches gouging the once serene black or green surface.

Actually nevermind. She doesn't have a C cup, but has better teeth than I do. And she's skinny like a toothpick.

Anyway. So this day was just bad. I mean everyday I go to school is bad, but it was one of the worst ones. Besides the humiliating list we were supposed to make because of the poem by Lord Bryon...My on going sinus infection is really getting to me. I mean bacteria is flocking to me right and left. I know it's because of the antibiotics, but I finished both rounds. I should be all drugged out. I mean out drugged. Whatever. The prescribed drugs should be out of my system.

But besides feeling ill 24/7. I'm losing myself again. School induced as usual. I'm just drifting farther and farther from being who I used to be.

But getting back to the worst day. Journalism. It's like a soap opera. A drama. It's crazy. I don't understand it.

I hate it, because I can't relate to anyone and them to me. I feel so inadequate and stupid. I suggest ideas, but I've decided not to talk anymore. I really don't want to contribute. I'm scared to. It's so intimidating. I feel like an idiot. Everyone is applying and getting accepted into top notch universities and I got into SJS. I'm an idiot. One rejection. One lousy promise. No acceptances letters. Nothing.

The rest of them are blabbing on and on about topics and calculus while I struggle through Algebra. I wish I could show them my poems and stuff, but even that is dashed. Written off. I didn't want fame or glory, but I thought journalism would be a good outlet. It's mostly just a confident-sucker. Humilation. Utterly so.

But also, Journalism makes me furious. Aggravated. With the people. Their lack of maturity and sensitivity to others. I love people as much as I despise them. The human race is by far the most odd animal on the face of the planet. We thought platypus were odd? TAKE A LOOK AT US! How dysfunctional we are!

I just can't get over how immature and rude people are in the class. Myself included. It makes me retch. We're eighteen to like fifteen years old. How is it that people still act like middle schoolers?

I can't believe some of us are supposed to head off to college. I for one, I don't feel ready.

And honestly, I don't think some of my classmates are either. Not only in Journalism, but in general. I mean how experienced do they think they are? I'm not doing drugs, or sleeping around or going to clubs and concerts right and left. I know school work. And I'm sure they do too. But there are just things in life I don't think we're ready for. Like common sense situations.

How do you know when you're ready? When you're wise?

High school doesn't prepare you for shit.