Today I hurt

There is pain, familiar pain in me and out of me. I wish it would go away because sometimes it scares me. The pain leaks from my eyes. The things I see, I know and I read frighten me. These books break my heart. These stories of people I may never meet, but have come to love and desire to protect have endured too much. They make me think of people I know or have not met yet, but know of. I don't want these people to hurt anymore. I am scared, because I am also in a position where I could be hurt. Please don't hurt me or break my heart. It hurts so badly the pain. It is normal and not unheard of. But the pain I hear about is alien. Is unwarranted. Is evil. It angers me. It frustrates me. I just want love. To love and be loved.

I become afraid of this too you see. I know no pain will come but I think to myself what if it did? If it does? I won't let that happen. I will summon the courage and the strength. But I don't have to. Not now. Not yet. Not ever.