Back at school

After dumping everything on my floor last night to make room to sleep on my bed and realizing I should probably do laundry and that I forgot my pillows at home and have way too many papers/hangers/junk etc. in my room and then this morning got up at the crack of dawn (7 am) in order to stay hundreds of dollars on textbooks AND finally unpacked everything from my bags...I have seized the opportunity to sit down and let the following sink in:

1.) I'm back at school
2.) I'm with all my school friends again
3.) The pile of T-shirts that belong to D no longer have to sit at the bottom of my drawer (he said to get rid of them by throwing them away but I don't think that's a good idea, I'll offer them one more time)
4.) D lives in CA now
5.) Today is the first day of classes

I already made plans to spend Friday in SF which is really exciting because I've been dying to go. I went two weekends ago before I got sick, which meant I had to spend the last week before the school in bed sick. Well, at least I got a chance to watch "Lord of the Rings" and got a chance to spend the last weekend with D, but still...It wasn't the best way to spend my time.

Anyway! I get to go to SF.

It's a new year and new beginnings.

I'm worried a little bit because lately I've been acting strange and I have every reason to be happy and to be healthy but...There's this strange feeling I can't shake off. I'm beginning to think I may be becoming depressed again. No! I can't be. This past summer I was so happy, so confident and so...boss of my life. Why now? Why when things are going so well?

Also...What makes me sad. I used to get this warm, rolling feeling about D and now I just feel exhausted and sad when I think about him. It hasn't even been a year yet. This horrifies me.