It's the most "wonderful time" of the year...CORRECTION: will be!

It's the time of the year when your enthusiasm blows a fuse and brain shuts off academically. No longer do you want to sit in class, you just want to do work and get results. You calculate what you can possibly do to retain your grades or make them better, but without actually having to listen to the professor blab on.  You contemplate the ways in which you can not do readings and get by, if possible. You are exhausted but have to work on final projects with energy mustered from who knows where--the Cosmos perhaps? And you are secretly considering selling injecting yourself with some kind of caffeinated IV.

My stress levels are sky rocketing, but it's weird, because I'm not twitchy or bawling like I usually would be. But my paranoia is on the fritz and even though all my fears were initially on the mend after last weekend, I suddenly have deproved. My brain is beating and I feel like my breathing is shallow. I have a ton of clothes and I'm not wearing any outfits, just sticking to sweatshirts, sneakers, the under necessities and T-shirts to keep warm and covered, but not necessarily for my sake. Fuck make up. And yeah I know it's against my principles, but I even have slacked on the bathing. Obviously I am showering and brushing my teeth, but not with any natural enthusiasm. It's time consuming. When I could be spiraling out of control with my stress or actually doing productive work.

I figure all of this is normal because I've felt this way before. I mean every time before finals I feel this way. It makes me feel like I'm a crazy person and like I hate everyone and everything that I love. I get really touchy and agitated. I snap at people and then want them close to me. I think everybody has a problem with me or hates me.

Yep, it's pretty much a bad cycle. But it's what happens EVERY semester before examinations.

The best I can do is eat, exercise, sleep and do my work. So far this weekend, I think I've done pretty well for myself.

I still have to finish my presentation for my Cultural Inventory on Asia, finish my Cultural Inventory: Asia, finish my second story for ENG 109 and somehow figure out how to write a critical essay for ENG 109.

I need to do a one pager for ENG 043...finish "My Jim" and begin "Fledgling."

I have to finish "Paperquake" somehow before Monday. I need to read "Sold" before Tuesday.

Tuesday I need to buy food with my partner from a restaurant. 

So many books to read....