I'm A Bad Friend

I won't say this is what "love" does to you, because I don't know if that's how I feel. That's another story. Not a can of worms, but another STORY.

Anyway, I think it makes you a bad friend. Not a bad friend...I know this is hard to follow. Read carefully and think deeply. Breathe a little too.

When you enter a relationship and no matter how many times you've entered a relationship whether it is your first or your last, and this could be a romantic relationship or a relationship as a parent. You become immersed and submerged and begin to orbit around that person, because they are your planet and you are theirs. You just have this magnetic pull that is so strong it makes everything strange seem normal and everything normal seem strange. Every fiber in your being wants to be with them and I suppose that's what is terrifying for some people, which cause them to abort and peace out.

I won't run.

But I realize what I'm, no not leaving behind, but what I could miss.

My friends.

I realize that I've been doing a bad job of juggling friends and my guy. I thought I was doing fine, but yesterday I got a kick of reality. My friends ignored me. I realized that I could stoop low and just ignore them back. But that's what teenagers do.

I'm an adult and must face the consequences of my choices.

I must ask for forgiveness and try harder to even things out.

It just makes it all harder when your guy is going to be states away...and then even more states away.

Damn it all. Why isn't anything EASY?!