Seventh Day/Her Highness Lady Gaga with Twentieth Day Commentary
Loving Words for the self proclaimed Entertainer Jester from a proclaimed Queen Fan:
Lady Gaga is one of the warmest, most sincere performers in existence today. When she spoke outside of her theatrical fanfare, she was so soulful and I really felt as if she was addressing every one of us hundreds that filled that Pavilion that night. She wanted to set us free. She wanted us to believe in ourselves when nobody else had. She wanted us to kill anyone or anything that had held us back from loving ourselves. She sympathized with us, because she had not come to fame immediately in her career and had been told she wasn't "skinny enough", "pretty enough", "good enough."
Her show, The Fame Monster Ball was the best show I have ever seen. It was more like a Broadway musical and shared similarities with "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz." People should wish they were as talented, as professional and as passionate as Lady Gaga. She is a very intuitive and wonderful person. I love her!
(I saw her in concert yesterday with Mona, who had an extra ticket and really wanted to take me. My dad says she feels awful about Jennifer. I understand.)
---
So, I haven't cried today. I don't think that's progress, but I don't think I am regressing. I don't even know if I've made progress.
I have to say that I am taking one day at a time. Whatever I did the previous day, has little matter to me except that I did it. Like the concert. Don't get me wrong, I loved the concert and I am glad that I went, but I didn't gush and I didn't scream and I didn't go wild. I enjoyed it. Quietly. Observantly. But I was happy.
Today, I went to the animal shelter. I met some lovely dogs, but when the day ends, none of them were as great as Jennifer. Not even half as great. I would not have been satisfied with them.
My dad said that he misses Jennifer and gets sad and tears up. I hope that is a sign that maybe he will open up to the idea of me having another dog. I hope I can open up, because as open as I thought I would be, I'm becoming almost...impossible to please. No dog is good enough. I think however, Athena was one I'd be willing. She was so placid, so docile and so sweet. She really wanted to be with people and she was good with another dogs. She's a pit bull mix with a white body and black freckles, splotches.
(Monday, August 30th) continued...
But when I think back. No dog is good enough. I mean, I visualize and fantasize about having more dogs. And yes, I would be willing and loving, but I'm certain there are times regardless of how cruel it is, I would find myself saying or thinking, "Jennifer never did that" "Jennifer always let me do this" "Jennifer, etc etc" It's wrong, but it's inevitable to make those, to draw those comparisons. I know this and I know that any dog will never be Jennifer and Jennifer will never be any dog. I will not look to seek out a dog that looks like Jennifer or acts like Jennifer and I certainly will never name anything "Jennifer." Her name is retired. Her name is untouchable. Her name is always mine and always hers, nobody else's.
It's funny. I was thinking to myself how I've never really liked many people who had the name Jennifer. I only really had a few. A few which is three. And those three know who they are. But only one Jennifer was the closest and the dearest friend I lived with. And God knows, have known plenty and know plenty of other Jennifers whom I've detested and loathed and despised. It's amazing how so many people of many personalities can share the same name, but be nothing alike. And thankfully they aren't alike, because there is no way I could ever like this particular Jennifer I knew and probably hated the most of all the Jennifers I've hated.
Regardless. I will have other dogs. I always need dogs as I will always have always needed Jennifer.
Lady Gaga is one of the warmest, most sincere performers in existence today. When she spoke outside of her theatrical fanfare, she was so soulful and I really felt as if she was addressing every one of us hundreds that filled that Pavilion that night. She wanted to set us free. She wanted us to believe in ourselves when nobody else had. She wanted us to kill anyone or anything that had held us back from loving ourselves. She sympathized with us, because she had not come to fame immediately in her career and had been told she wasn't "skinny enough", "pretty enough", "good enough."
Her show, The Fame Monster Ball was the best show I have ever seen. It was more like a Broadway musical and shared similarities with "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz." People should wish they were as talented, as professional and as passionate as Lady Gaga. She is a very intuitive and wonderful person. I love her!
(I saw her in concert yesterday with Mona, who had an extra ticket and really wanted to take me. My dad says she feels awful about Jennifer. I understand.)
---
So, I haven't cried today. I don't think that's progress, but I don't think I am regressing. I don't even know if I've made progress.
I have to say that I am taking one day at a time. Whatever I did the previous day, has little matter to me except that I did it. Like the concert. Don't get me wrong, I loved the concert and I am glad that I went, but I didn't gush and I didn't scream and I didn't go wild. I enjoyed it. Quietly. Observantly. But I was happy.
Today, I went to the animal shelter. I met some lovely dogs, but when the day ends, none of them were as great as Jennifer. Not even half as great. I would not have been satisfied with them.
My dad said that he misses Jennifer and gets sad and tears up. I hope that is a sign that maybe he will open up to the idea of me having another dog. I hope I can open up, because as open as I thought I would be, I'm becoming almost...impossible to please. No dog is good enough. I think however, Athena was one I'd be willing. She was so placid, so docile and so sweet. She really wanted to be with people and she was good with another dogs. She's a pit bull mix with a white body and black freckles, splotches.
(Monday, August 30th) continued...
But when I think back. No dog is good enough. I mean, I visualize and fantasize about having more dogs. And yes, I would be willing and loving, but I'm certain there are times regardless of how cruel it is, I would find myself saying or thinking, "Jennifer never did that" "Jennifer always let me do this" "Jennifer, etc etc" It's wrong, but it's inevitable to make those, to draw those comparisons. I know this and I know that any dog will never be Jennifer and Jennifer will never be any dog. I will not look to seek out a dog that looks like Jennifer or acts like Jennifer and I certainly will never name anything "Jennifer." Her name is retired. Her name is untouchable. Her name is always mine and always hers, nobody else's.
It's funny. I was thinking to myself how I've never really liked many people who had the name Jennifer. I only really had a few. A few which is three. And those three know who they are. But only one Jennifer was the closest and the dearest friend I lived with. And God knows, have known plenty and know plenty of other Jennifers whom I've detested and loathed and despised. It's amazing how so many people of many personalities can share the same name, but be nothing alike. And thankfully they aren't alike, because there is no way I could ever like this particular Jennifer I knew and probably hated the most of all the Jennifers I've hated.
Regardless. I will have other dogs. I always need dogs as I will always have always needed Jennifer.
posted by Chinny at
11:34 AM
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