"Oh we've got trouble! Right here in...With a capital..."

One friendship request acceptance
Two lecturing parents
Three we are meeting
Four identical knee bruises...

Dad's leftover soggy udon with the artificial crab strips, wimpy bok choi and boiled chicken broth is reheating in the microwave. He likes it HOT. Two minutes hot. He's chattering about insurance right now.

His lunch isn't the only thing in this room adjoined with the kitchen, that is steaming. Who could have guessed? Me again.

I must be a very angry person deep down who rants on a whim. Yes, but one forgets that is what lovely blogs in cyberblack holes is for.

BREAK: Dad says the noodles are delicious, but of course soft, because this is the second time we've cooked them. Not to mention they've been lingering in a dish in the refrigerator for like...four days.

Jennifer just left, she hates the electronic beeping. She probably won't come in for a few hours after basking in the sun, on our unbelievably dirty deck. She won't be pleased, because when she does come in, I'll be giving her bath.

But in the mean time, I'm going to rant about someone who bugs me from A to Z, and even got OBL quiet, because she couldn't think of anything to say. "What did you want me to say? I'm sorry?" was what she told me in the morning. I thought I put her to sleep. I probably did. She probably lay there thinking: "Chinny is a FUR-REEEEEEK." Even Marcus and Mona gave me advice about how to deal with disaster, even my parents, but this person has problems from A to Z. Would you really want me to start alphabetically? And mind you, this is all metaphorically speaking.

Anyway.

What I have to say to A to Z is: "Don't you get smart with me.

I'm not the one who got jiggy with three, when there should have been zero and lied about the numbers altogether. You're whack in the head, because you think if you don't have numbers and a list of them, you're a loser and that's only because your friends are accountants and keep encouraging every numeral that doesn't start with zero or negatives. Integers. Goddamn.

You're whack in the head, because you're friends with accountants, in the first place. Why is it you're so bad at math and yet obsess over it? Numbers numbers numbers. And you always always always want to know MINE.

Are you happy now? Are you happy now? Zero. That's my number. I don't do numbers see, I'm better with words.

"I've got the gift of one liners and you've got the curse of curves." Thank you, Cute is What We Aim For. (Insert exasperated salute.)

So let's back off from Algebra and Geometry, because what we lack is symmetry. We aren't congruent in minds or bodies alike. Thank what is dear to the Lord and the Lord to the dear, because I'm so happy I'm not like you. You shouldn't be happy that you aren't like me. Well, save the bitterness and temper, but hey, you could use some THOUGHTS on the LATTER.

So let this stew, A to Z. Let's talk with words. Because, I've got a way with the words and the words have a way with me.

Ditch the accountants, but it's a little late for that, isn't it? You don't even know it, but you're in way too deep. You're obsessed with the idea and not so much the action. You're doing what I want, but the end result is where we split.

Oh yeah, do you want some vocabulary? Some description? A list? Here goes:

Obsessive
Dense
Immature

What you need:

Intuition
Reason
Patience
Grace

You lack. Experience. Real experience. You lack understanding. You fail to understand words and people. People and words. People are words. Words are people. I don't have numbers, but I have what you lack. You have numbers, but you lack what I have. What good are numbers? So that's what I want to know? You have numbers, but they don't really have distance? They don't have length? They are seconds and I've got miles. I've got better mileage, but nobody is next to be me in the passenger seat.

You've got a car and I've got one in my mind. You've got places to go, but you're hurrying. You hurry everything. Because it's not the ride, it's the destination you care about. No not even the ride or the destination. You don't care about it at all. You just want that person next to you. Doesn't matter who he is. You just want him.

You're missing the game. You're missing the point. You can't have the game, the car, the road and him. You can't have that. You don't even know what it's all about do you know?

See, I don't have a car, a destination, a guy or a road. But I'm walking and taking my time. Sure it takes longer and it hella hurts. But I'm going to get someone who lasts for more than a day.

That's all I wanted to say, A to Z. Now start brushing up on the alphabet, because number are crap and your head is all whack."

Well, I did that. I did meet a guy who didn't last for more than a day, but that's only partially true. He lasted a day and another. He may not last on the cyberworld, but that's just life. Disappointments, but I met a new person. That was cool.

I feel better now.