Political and Emotional Insanity

I have high hopes for these next four years. How can things possibly get any worse? Another Depression? *knock on wood* I don't want anything else to happen, I mean anything negative happen. Obama insists that we have to change and I just take both implications: shallow and deep. Our Nation must change in order for things to be different and we must be different in order for things to change. That goes for more than just politics. I think.

I wasn't surprised that he won. Like my other friends, I was mostly concerned for the propositions. How did 8 pass? I'm just out of words. I cannot believe there are that many bigoted people out there. I know some do not believe it is morally or religiously right for gays and lesbians to marry, but I just did not realize how many people believed that, in our state. I guess I'm pretty naive or just misinformed. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions, it's too much and too much wishful thinking for everyone to simply accept that "Kings want to marry Kings" and "Queens, Queens."

All this about the Bible saying so, is when my soul becomes twisted (not evil, I just mean in figurative knots). My head is spinning and so is my mouth. If the Bible did not define marriage between a man and woman, than we wouldn't be having this conversation. It's so subjective and yet...I don't know. Personally I wish everyone had more love and acceptance in their hearts. I believe gays and lesbians should have equal rights in marriage with tax breaks, etc. I guess it will just be a little longer until that happens. This certainly isn't the end of this particular battle.

I just can't believe how volatile people are about this. I mean...So vicious and so much contempt. Well, I'm not one to talk really. I'm quite a firecracker these days, so I can't say too much.

Oh and this is random...But I feel really uncomfortable saying "gay" and "lesbian." I know that sounds really cliche, but honestly. I feel really uncomfortable saying "black" also. I just feel like it's such an abused word. I don't know how to describe it. I mean don't get me wrong or mistake my words. I just am sensitive, when it comes down to things. More than people think and know. I can sense emotions and tension in the air like a Bloodhound, a scent. It really hurts me when people fight and I absorb the tension and just suffer in silence. I hate fighting between friends.

As far as these...names (?) go. I guess it just bothers me because people say, "Oh that's so GAY." As a substitute for "stupid." I've always hated that. I mean really HATED that. How can people just use words like that so callously? Without thinking? Like that dumb ass who showed up to school as the KKK?!! What the hell was up with that? What was he thinking? No, he wasn't thinking. That is obvious. I'm so aggravated with the perverse humor of idiots. A fraction, a mere fraction, of my brain says, "Oh maybe, just maybe it was an honest mistake." But the rest screams out: "How can that be? There is no mistakes when it comes to such historic Evil."

No mistakes there.

Damn I'm going off on a tangent...Back to what I said earlier, I'm just reluctant to use those words because I feel like it's a label, you know? Not a slur, but just a label. Like it's a bad thing to just lump people together like that. But I guess that is what comes with being the human animal. Animals don't have names for each other do they? I wonder if they do. I wonder if a dog would distinguish an albino one from another. Do they notice or care? Predators and prey do, but I mean within their own kind?

It's stupid really how we humans are. Arranging power by the color of one's skin when there is no difference between us all. I mean look at dogs! So many colors, shapes, sizes. Appearances! No two dogs look the same. Similar, but unless identical twins or clones, not exactly fiber to fiber, muscle to muscle, inch by inch the same. Right?

I better shut up before I get myself into a trouble.

I just want to say that I support you. And I'm waiting for the day when everyone can have their day in the sun without suspicion and harm.

Also the day when you can freely make statements or make actions that won't make people start pointing fingers at you.

I am straight. But I've had people question me or in one case, one person question themself because of ME. Well, I was as startled as I was flattered.

All I can say is that--promise last thing--that I understand how guys go through. Yeah guys, I feel you.

Peace out!